Celebrating You!

Five Affirmations for the end of 2020

I am dreading hearing New Year’s Resolution messages. I don’t want to hear about how I need to change my eating, exercise, or will myself to love myself more in 2021. To be fair, I’m never that into these rituals, but it feels especially insulting this year. We tend to focus culturally on all that we are lacking and on the ways that we need to be better and do better. Sometimes, even instagram accounts that are meant to be inspirational can feel like an endless walk of self-improvement that somehow make me feel worse about myself. This year, it seems that making it through the year should be reason enough to acknowledge ourselves.

I asked a few of my friends what they are celebrating about themselves as we close out 2020, and their answers blew me away in the best way possible. I didn’t hear about their measurable, external achievements, but instead of their most heart-felt internal truths. I heard about their ah-ha moments related to their gifts, worthiness, and capacity for growth. I heard that they were able to celebrate themselves while still hurting — and able to hold space for both the lightness and darkness of 2020.

Today, I invite you to pause on the path of self-improvement and join me in celebrating all the ways that you’re enough today. These are the parts of you we can’t quantify or measure. The parts of you that never see the light of Instagram, but that you know to be true in your heart of hearts. At least, I hope you feel them. 

1.) “I can do hard things.”

I’m guessing it wouldn’t be too much of a challenge to list the ways that 2020 has been hard.  From drastic changes in daily lifestyle to worrying about the health and safety of loved ones to facing loss and increased social isolation, you have a year of evidence showing you that you can do hard things. You can have all sorts of feelings — and will probably continue to experience a lot of feelings — and continue living.

2.) “I can hold myself accountable.”

I know I’ve had to think about the idea of community care in deeper ways this year. We’ve been asked to follow safety precautions that hold us accountable for community safety and public health. We’ve had to get clear about what we care about and how we want to show up in alignment with our values. This is true not only for COVID safety, but for racial justice and political activism. No one really knows what your journey of accountability has been but you.

3.) “I can allow myself to be loved.”

Without as much daily social contact, how have you allowed love in? Maybe you’ve shown up on video chats more, or have texted more. If you’ve struggled with loneliness, you’ve probably needed extra love and connection. There’s been an increase in transparency around mental health needs, and maybe you’ve been someone who has sought out therapy for the first time or has opened up to friends and family more. It might have felt super vulnerable and uncomfortable, but you’ve done it. 

4.) “I can be flexible.”

Raise your hand if this year turned out much differently than planned! Yes, of course! You’ve had to cancel plans, reschedule events, and probably rework much of your professional and personal life. You’ve made sacrifices and adjustments and have had to consider things you never would have thought to consider in any other year. Flexibility has been everything this year, and you have done it!

5.) “I can stay connected to my sense of purpose in this life.” 

No matter how lost you’ve felt at moments, I know there must have been even fleeting moments of remembering why you’re here. Your purpose is greater than the challenges, losses, and heartbreaks of this year.

How do these affirmations sit with you? Which ones feel amazing to recognize, and which ones feel maybe a little tender because you’re not quite sure if you believe it? I invite you to light a candle, get out your journal, and spend some time reflecting on your reactions. I also invite you to write out all that I missed. I know there is much more to celebrate about you right now than I’ve covered here today. As always, don’t hesitate to reach out to a trusted loved one, mental health professional, or spiritual leader for more support. 

Amalia Miralrio is a licensed therapist in Michigan and Pennsylvania. She specializes in grief and break-ups.

Find her at www.amitycounseling.com

On instagram @thebreakuptherapist