Taylor Mae- Business Coach

Taylor Mae is a business strategist, coach, and leader of the local female networking group Level Detroit. Taylor has an infectious energy and positivity that radiates when you meet her. She's very big into connecting with others and on supporting fellow female entrepreneurs in any way possible. 

I got the chance to speak with her about overcoming the challenges of COVID-19, what big changes she has in store for this year, and finding clarity both in our business and personal lives.  

I always start out asking everyone about their childhoods. What was your childhood like and what were you like as a kid?

You would find me mostly in the garage or in the basement making up dances with the neighbor kids. So I was always dancing, always creating and kind of, I think in my own world a little bit because of that. 

I probably was a little bossy as well, but I think my parents would have to tell me ‘you have to talk to your friends about other things besides dance.’ And so , so that, I feel just in itself, says a lot about who I was and who I am is still. 

I know you mentioned that you have worked for some nonprofits. What are some of the kinds of nonprofits that you've worked with and how do you think that impacted you?

I love getting to work with nonprofits and I work with a lot even right now, a lot with children and a lot that has to do with education... One right now I work with called End Prejudice and they do really important work for racial justice… their view…  is about unification over everything. 

And then one that I've been working with probably the longest and where I do the most work with is called Kaleo. They’re a performing arts, education platform that works with students all over the country now. It's a really special program and they make original music, the kids write songs and they’re really also about unification…. they’re really intentional of bringing students from different experiences and different backgrounds, together in the same room to create pieces of art together. And it's super amazing. 

What inspired you to get into coaching?

I guess this connects back to my childhood. I always wanting to bring out the best in people. And also my mom is a clinical therapist and so I think just growing up in the home with an understanding of personal development and an understanding of psychology and all of that really kind of just fed into my psyche in general. 

And so I think I got into coaching to impact people and just because that was kind of, I felt what I was ready for… I was actually just joking with my mom that I feel like I've been training for this literally forever. And so I have some shifts coming up and I'm okay, I don't need to be scared. Because I've been reading different types of things and studying all these different types of topics forever. So it's fun.

What are some of the shifts you have coming up?

I have been primarily doing business coaching and consulting, but I’ve been doing some training to be able to shift more into doing life coaching or...I call myself a life strategist. 

So essentially helping people.. find and discover, or really more so remember, their divine purpose and then create a strategy to help them really live that out in a way that's practical and everyday, … we let the world define who we are… I think to question, okay, what is the point of this? Why am I really here? That's the type of stuff between personal development and spirituality and psychology, I've been really studying forever. 

I've been kind of shifting into being able to help people more with that rather than just the business stuff. And I think business conversations both come up naturally because I love business, but that's kind of where I'm headed and I feel super excited about it. 

That's awesome. I'm a very big believer in that. Because I think it's very archaic to think that  when you have your own business … or you have a career to think that the two aren't intermarried is a very odd concept to me. Because they do bleed into one another in many ways.

Yes, absolutely. It's your life's work, and I think we put our egos so much over that a lot of the time. And it's, like no, I want my work to be powerful. 

And I think that means, I think that could be anything that could be working at a restaurant or doing anything, but it's just our perception. And when it's in alignment with who we are and what we feel like we're meant to do, then I think you could make anything feel powerful. 

I think that the idea of alignment is really important. When I was younger, when I would be… deeply unhappy or frustrated and it's because I wasn’t doing what I really want to be doing .. But even if you're not focusing on your passions or you're letting other people dictate your life.

Yes. It's so true. I always think of that, so often ... coaching circles really just talk about behavior modification. Or as I say surface level, Oh, if I do this or I set this kind of goal and no, you're never going to feel fulfilled or feel in alignment until you get to the root and the foundation. And you're able to do that. 

So even if you're in a nine to five, that isn't ideal, but you're in it to pay the bills. At least you can shift your perception…

 I always say sometimes jobs are fundraising for life jobs. I have this job so I could pay my bills so that I can go do these other things or have the time to do these other things.

I think that's a good point too, about the fundraising for life. That's one of the things that kind of frustrates me about the coaching world or personal development when it's just these very Instagrammy influencers that are really shady about how they got their money and they just tell you to quit your job and buy their program and you'll be great.

It doesn't make you a failure because you have a normal nine to five and then you're doing your side hustle or you're focusing on your own thing. 

Everyone's place makes the world go round. I call it the Facebook ads or Instagram ads world of ‘do these five things’... That still points to the surface level things.

Even if it's, I was given a hundred million dollars today, but I'm still not aligned with my purpose and what I feel I was called to do, that's not going to change how I feel about my life. And so it really points back to that foundation of things.

I like what you said about not just doing behavior modification. I remember listening to a Tim Ferris podcast interview with Seth Godin and Tim Ferriss always asks everyone about their morning routine. 

And Seth Godin was like ‘it's not going to make a difference. It's not why I'm successful.’ He was a little bitchy to be honest, but I understood what he was saying. So I totally got what you're saying. It has to be something deep, meaningful change and you have to find what works for you.

Yes… it's funny to ask someone like Seth Godin that, or even just that question in general, it cheapens people, it's like you really think, ‘Oh success is because of my morning routine.’ No, it's because I'm intelligent. And I have…  a great perspective and I work really hard… all those different things.

What is your niche in coaching?

It feels hard for me to niche down because I'm an Enneagram Seven; I naturally want to get a lot out of a lot of things. So feeling as if I'm narrowing myself down feels really hard for me though. 

… I really think what it comes down to is women. I really like working with women specifically and specifically women in transition. And so whether that is a high school student that doesn’t know what to do with their life...

I remember that feeling and even then the transition out of college as well, and then as well as people that are in different places of their life that are kind of almost looking for a life rebrand, I feel they kind of get to the bottom of themselves and they're like, alright, what is this? 

I really get excited about working from the bottom up with people. Because I know sometimes a lot of coaches are, ‘Oh, I work with the already “successful people” and help their performance, all of that.’ That doesn't feel like my niche as much as really starting that foundation with people. 

I'm the same way when I have a therapist, I always have a female therapist just because that's who I feel most comfortable with.

No, exactly. And to that point, I feel I know women so well also because just thinking of my family… It's really my mom, my sister, and I, so this is really feminine, group energy. I was surrounded by mostly women my whole life. 

It totally makes sense. I feel the same way because I grew up around my mom and my stepmom who are so independent and they were kind of the head of household in my eyes, I just kind of got used to that energy. 

That's why I gravitate towards women who start their own businesses or who have really good careers or who have these big goals in their lives. 

Yes, exactly. I'm the same for sure. That's beautiful.

That kind of leads into my next question. That's part of the reason I really love [the networking group] Level Detroit, what inspired you to take a leadership role at Level Detroit?

I love building community and connecting people. And so… this space is available to be able to step into that. I really felt that would be a really exciting and important role to be able to do for people. So I would say that's my favorite part of it. 

The reason why I stepped into it for myself is to be able to just meet new people and build community. I feel that building real friendships in adulthood is really hard and no one tells you that… And so I think that was a part of it  too. I want to meet new people and connect with new people. 

I think too, it's different with our generation because we have these much larger gaps of time between graduating high school and settling down. And then I also feel a little…  I obviously love social media, but I do think it's totally brought us together. But then I also think it's separated us in a way.

Agreed. So it's, why do I need to go to someone's house and catch up? If it feels I already know what's going on in their life based on their Instagram story, I hate that. 

And I'm guilty of that obviously, but grateful for it in times of a pandemic. But how can we begin having that connection again? 

I heard a stat, funny enough; in Shakespeare's time the number of people you would know within your lifetime is 150 people. That's it. And now we have thousands and thousands of people that just follow us on Instagram. So  think about that and just how we've evolved as a species. 

Yeah. That is really interesting. I never would have thought of it. It does make sense. And I think that we have the chance to connect with so many different people that pre-internet we just really wouldn't have.

I think people find it easy to complain about the internet, but I have also had a lot of really awesome female friendships from social media.

Yes, totally. And I think you just pointed out the key, I think of just successful business in general and using social media successfully, it really is a relationship building tool. 

You can post the fanciest things or have the algorithm and all of that. But really the most successful businesses are the people that are using social media as a relationship tool and actually building real life relationships with people. 

That's something that I really about Detroit is I feel people really do go hard for local businesses and it's just, I don't want to say easier, but in a way it kind of is maybe because it's a little bit smaller, but there's still a ton of entrepreneurship and people are still very motivated, but I feel you don't get lost in the white noise as much as in an LA or New York or Chicago.

Exactly. Especially too, Detroit feels it's still an emerging creative city, right? You go to New York and LA to be around all the other creative people.

Some of the best art in the world has come from Detroit, but it's always been in pockets and the majority being really manufacturing work and that mindset. And when you're connecting with like minded people, it is still quite nice. And so I think that's an interesting and cool thing about Detroit as well.

What do you think are some of the hardest obstacles for female business owners to overcome?

It's a stereotype and a cliche, but I think just your self-worth more than anything. Breaking the conditioning of what I'm supposed to be, at least for me, this is a big one. Just being the good girl and doing what I'm told and following the right steps. That's gonna get me what I want. 

And that's not how it really works in entrepreneurship. It's about being bold and breaking rules and being innovative and building relationships. And I think that really stems from right again, that foundation of feeling you are worthy of that and being confident enough to be bold in that and step into that. 

I know what you're saying. And I struggle a little bit with this self worth or doubt, but also just, I am not a natural salesperson. I'm sure part of it is a whole female, blend into the background, ‘be nice’ thing, but it's also more introverted normally. So it just bothers me and I feel I'm bothering people.

Yeah, exactly. And it's, how does the actually shift to be, no, this conversation with someone actually has the potential to add value to that and benefit their lives and their closets and they're expressing themselves, you know? 

It is interesting to make that shift. .. It's a fight all the time because everything in the world points to us not to do that. 

One of the things I know you speak a lot about is clarity. And I've noticed that a lot, even with myself as a small business owner, you are pulled in so many different directions and then you start getting distracted. What do you think clarity means to you in terms of creating and running a small business?

Continuing to stay connected to the big vision of things is huge because we can easily chase the squirrels or the shiny objects.

I always say it's a dance of connecting to the big vision. What am I working for? You know, whether it's five years, 10 years, at the end of my life, what do I want this to be? And then how do I bring that and break that into small pieces and in my day-to-day.

So whether you have a vision statement for your life, or you have different goals that you look at every single morning. It helps with the clarity of what you can say yes and no to in your daily life. Does that decision move me closer to that big vision I feel called to do? Or does it not? And it kind of makes it easier with that in mind.

Yeah. That makes sense. And I feel , , that's one of the things I've seen a lot with entrepreneurs and male, female, any business they've always, always says, I have long term goals and I have shorter term goals than I have. the daily stuff I need to get done.

I just wrote out longer term goals the other day and I'm trying to look at them regularly to remind myself.

Yes. Because it's so easy to get bogged down. ‘Oh my gosh, I have to do all these admin tasks, Oh my gosh, I have to get on this other phone call.’ 

I think gratitude and contentment and the journey is so important.

Entrepreneur life is just a rollercoaster. You could feel all of those emotions of the same day or same hour. 

I love listening to podcasts and other successful entrepreneurs. The ones that have made it still have those moments and did have those moments along the way. So I use kind of the mantra of I am in good company now. 

I know you were also talking about letting go of things, but I liked how you specifically said  it's not about giving up when things get tough. But it's about knowing when something's not serving you. How do you think that idea of letting go has shaped you?

I'm deeply in the midst of learning that right now.I could say how it's shaping me. I think the reason that I sometimes have said yes to things that aren't for me… came from fear. Fear that I'm leaving money on the table and that another opportunity won't come this or I need this cash right now or whatever it is. And that really is a place functioning from low self worth. 

And so letting go of those types of things. So that I could actually make the space for other things to come through are really game changing. It's shaping me to be someone who trusts more that I am taken care of and good things will come my way. 

And it's just kind of letting go that’s giving me more internal freedom and more joy. So it's a process of… I recommend everybody kind of listing out, okay, where is my time being spent? Where's my emotional energy being spent and what can I quit? What can I cut? So I can make room for the other beautiful things to enter my life that I want.

 I am very into the whole streamlining process and also just being more comfortable with saying no as I get older and not having to give a long story explanation or an excuse. So there's going to be a little bit of a pivot, but what do you think are some of the biggest marketing mistakes that small businesses make?

Back to the point that you were saying earlier, I was sharing about building relationships. … I would say that is probably the number one mistake there. 

They just think, Oh, if I get my social media just perfect or if I just do AB and C and it's like, no, cultivating those relationships, especially for a small business, is everything. And so I would say people getting distracted by that, that’s the biggest mistake for sure. 

Obviously this whole COVID pandemic is seemingly never-ending. How do you think business owners can pivot during COVID and what are some successful changes you've seen?

I feel the most success I've seen are the people that have been responsive versus reactive. Even though there was urgency obviously to changes. That's kind of what I'm thinking of in particular, in my mind right now are the ones that kind of noticeably took a setback and took a deep breath and then we're actually able to be super innovative and super creative in the way that they serve their people rather than being in panic. 

I feel still it being an interesting time to be running a business for a lot of people, continuing to take that step back, think of, okay, what is maybe something other people aren't doing and rewriting the rules, the people that are courageous enough to do that are going to be the ones that come up on top essentially. 

What's the best  advice you've ever received and from whom?

I will take it back to my mom who I'm so close to...She has always said “If you can lay your head down at the end of the night and know that you gave the best you could with what you had, you can call that a success.” 

And I think of that every night and I think ‘did I show up in my best way?’ Not perfect, but with the energy I had with the creativity I had, with the opportunities I have, did I live that out as fully as I could? 

What are your goals for 2020 or even into next year? I know this is such a bizarre time.

I'm in a lot of different trainings right now. I'm getting certified as a transformational coach through Western Seminary. I am getting certified as a Human Design reader and I am going through other really amazing coaching programs. So to really get education stuff down is a huge part of the rest of 2020, as well as reconnecting with potential clients in a new way.

So a lot of comp sessions to be able to get my hours for these certifications and a lot of just getting the ball rolling. So when 2021 hits that… I have people and they know about it and they're telling their people about it and really building it through relationships. 

What are some resources that you'd recommend?

Oh, there's so many. I think my favorite podcasts are Second Life by Hillary Kerr from WhoWhatWear. It’s just so inspiring to hear other people's stories about building their businesses.

I love Seth Godin as well. I'm reading ‘This is Marketing’ by Seth Godin... He always says marketing is about change and changing people's hearts and minds. I love anything Seth Godin and I also love my girl Marie Forleo forever.